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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25375120">Him and I</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/JudeIsFanboyTrash/pseuds/JudeIsFanboyTrash'>JudeIsFanboyTrash</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Haikyuu!!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Anxious Hinata Shouyou, Boys In Love, Confusion, Crushes, Dense Characters, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, Gay, Headcanon mess, I should go to sleep but instead I'm doing this, I suck at being serious, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm Sorry, I'm a soft gay for them, I'm also super tired posting this, Inspired by actual greatness, It might seem AU but this is MY story and my version of canon, It probably sounds worse than it actually is, Its I'd love you if you'd let me &amp; other secrets by mochimatcha, LGBTQ Characters, M/M, Miscomunication, Mutual Pining, Read that instead, Soft Kageyama Tobio, Trans!AU, Trying to Hide Feelings, Trying to figure out feelings, What is cishet?, i'll link it, maybe some angst?, secretly soft kageyama, self doubt, trans!hinata</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-09</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 10:22:35</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Not Rated</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>12,617</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25375120</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/JudeIsFanboyTrash/pseuds/JudeIsFanboyTrash</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>So Hinata is trans but doesn't want that to be everything about him so he's stealth at his school which is fine until him and his best friend start crushing on each other without realizing the other's feels.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Hinata Shouyou &amp; Kageyama Tobio, Hinata Shouyou/Kageyama Tobio, kagehina</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>29</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>135</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Backstory</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/mochimatcha/gifts">mochimatcha</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Sorry if I sound drunk writing the tags and notes- I'm sleep deprived. Which is why you shouldn't read my work and instead the beautifully written fic that inspired me: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25054999 do it- just read it, you can thank me later, his writing is soooooo fucking good- I cried several times. They are the most genuine and thoughtful person I've seen even after his story got popular. Just- protect them- He is too precious for us to not, and did I mention talent?!</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Hinata was reminiscing about his first year, as tomorrow is the first day of the second. He couldn’t stop thinking about how he’d already changed from middle school, a foot and a half taller, more muscles and body hair, his voice- all the results of puberty and a full year of (T)estosterone. He had to admit to himself that’s a big reason he let Kageyama get to him so much that first day. Him and his mom made sure Karasuno would be okay with him being stealth because that was almost as important to him as playing where the Tiny Giant did.</p><p>Him and Kageyama had gotten to know each other a lot better over the year and he was happy to note they had a more friendly rival type relationship than how’d they started. He’s also really glad the team doesn’t know about his ‘special case’. It’s not that he thinks they would care with all the vibes some of them are sending each other, but he doesn’t want to be the first one out- it also could raise up questions he’s not ready for. It’s complicated being trans- especially stealth, dating? Out of the question.</p><p>He hears his phone ping and finishes throwing off everything but his boxers, then he lays down and checks the phone.</p><p>Message from: Tall, Dark, and Dumb &lt;3:<br/>
Hey idiot, don’t be late for practice in the morning, we’ll have to greet the new first years.</p><p>Hinata sighs, knowing Kageyama doesn’t mean it as harshly as he sounds but it still gets to him- being socialized as a girl for so long causes Hinata a lot of insecurity about if he’s overreacting or not.</p><p>Reply from Sunshine and Drainbows @&gt;@:<br/>
Thanks mom! I knew you cared &lt;3! But seriously, thank you- I may have forgotten to set an alarm. ^.^</p><p>Kageyama not too far away in the city is blushing and just angrily types.</p><p>Message from: Tall, Dark, and Dumb &lt;3:<br/>
Of course you did, idiot. *rolls eyes* now get some sleep, it’s late.</p><p>And Hinata can’t figure out the reason his heart clenched at that.</p><p>Instead of taking his friend’s caring advice he sends a quick ‘you too’ before looking up side effects of being over a year on T, most of the heart ones seem pretty serious and uncommon…  he’ll have to keep an eye on that. At this point, he’s closed his eyes and is drifting off nicely.</p><p>Meanwhile, Kageyama is having a panic attack because what does ‘you too’ mean? Did he make Hinata mad? Or was that a normal response? </p><p>His head drops as he tries not to berate himself for being so stupid and rude. But that’s our usual dynamic,  he tells himself, wouldn’t it be weird to not respond that way?</p><p>If you are wondering why this mental conversation is happening it is because, over the summer Kageyama noticed how over the year he and Hinata had grown close- closer than he’d let anyone almost ever. He pondered that for a bit and then tried not to think about it, but in between the weekly practice summer games they met up for all Kageyama could think about was how nice Hinata was, and how he wished they’d hung out more. Kageyama wanted to get to know Hinata outside of the loud happy go lucky persona. He wanted a real friend for once in his life.</p><p>He couldn’t help but laugh bitterly at himself as he drifted into unconsciousness; to think, The King of The Court wanted to be close to someone- who’d have thought? He hopes Hinata wants to be his friend still, stupid, annoying, orange haired bastard.</p><p>~⚣⚥⚣~</p><p>When Hinata got halfway to the school, he found Kageyama waiting at the intersecting road that leads to his house.</p><p>“Hey Kageyama! Were you waiting for me?” Hinata calls happily to his friend.</p><p>Kageyama embarrassedly sputters, “If I was it’s only because you’re an idiot and I wanted to make sure your dumbass didn’t miss the first day.”</p><p>Hinata rolls his eyes, “I love you too hardass,” he says slapping Kage’s back, “now let’s get moving.”</p><p>Kageyama fights down the heat in his face even if it doesn’t visibly show. And after a moment joins the shorter boy walking toward the school. This will be harder than he thought.</p><p>The two walk casually in silence for a few minutes just enjoying the familiar energy of each other and their surroundings, until Hinata stops walking and holds an arm out in front of Kageyama. Kageyama, forced to pause looks at the other boy confused.</p><p>“You little- Why are we stopped?!” He asks, somewhat angrily.</p><p>Hinata shifts chewing the inside of his lip, “Well I was just thinking about how nice it is out here and then I wondered why you’ve never had a girlfriend…  Not to assume you have to be straight though, not that our culture is super welcoming.”</p><p>Kageyama is blinking with his mouth open, “Are you trying to ask me about my sexuality?”</p><p>Hinata blushes, “Well- I mean, uh yeah- But not in a weird way! Just in a ‘what kinda partner should I help a buddy look for’ way.”</p><p>Kageyama swallows, “I’m not really secretive about it, but I haven’t told anyone- *sighs* You can’t tell anyone- but I’m -straight.”</p><p>Kageyama tries not to but he busts out laughing at the look on Hinata’s face, total confusion and almost disappointment.</p><p>“I’m kidding doofus, I’m totally gay, like really gay- and my dad doesn’t like it so he stays away a lot. My mom works a lot too because- I don’t even know, I guess they just don’t like me!” Kageyama explains.</p><p>Hinata blinks, for once speechless, “*clears throat* So, that’s cool but who are you and what’ve you done with Kageyama?”</p><p>The aforementioned teen rolls his eyes and starts to walk again, “I try to joke and open up and this is where it gets me?”</p><p>“Wait! Kageyama! I’m sorry, come back! I was just surprised!” Hinata yells trailing after the setter.</p><p>Kageyama turns, “What about you? Are you straight?”</p><p>Hinata blushes, “I don’t really care about parts or labels, you could call me bi or pan I guess.”</p><p>Kageyama smiles, “Cool.”</p><p>And they make their way into the gym.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Wanna Hang?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Kageyama saves Hinata and opens up a little. Hinata is very surprised, chaos ensues.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I've always been a soft Kageyama fan/believer but Mo @mochimatcha and his incredible talent for writing as well as inspirational picks for songs in his fic, inspired one of my favorite songs for this couple to make it onto kageyama's Playlist and you know what? I totally actually see him listening to this. (Don't tell my other stories but I usually update way less frequently.) If you enjoy this, then you are very likely to enjoy the longer more sophisticated story that is their fic; I'd love you if you'd let me available to read @ https://archiveofourown.org/works/25054999</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>As they make their way into the gym they notice some new faces, and some familiar ones. Before they can even set down their stuff, they hear a voice.</p><p>“Hinata! Kageyama! You made it!” calls a happy sounding Nishinoya.</p><p>Hinata smiles and Kageyama ducks a bit, “Hey Noya, how are the first years?”</p><p>He laughs, “They’re first years, some excited, some scared the usual.”</p><p>Hinata failed to realise Kageyama had disappeared until he heard a voice call him from across the gym,<br/>
“Hey idiot, come on or we’ll be late for class!” Kageyama waves the ginger over to him.</p><p>“Gotta go,” Hinata tells Nishinoya, “see you later!”</p><p>When Hinata checks his watch standing next to Kageyama he realizes they still have a good 15 minutes before class. He’s about to ask Kageyama about it when the taller male takes his hand, dragging him out and away from the gym.</p><p>“What about practice?” Hinata asks, semi-annoyed.</p><p>Kageyama huffs, “You didn’t notice, but the first years were about to swarm us due to our famous quick, I was trying to save you.”</p><p>Hinata blushes as he rubs the back of his neck, “Oh. Thanks.”</p><p>Kageyama rolls his eyes, “Anyway, I also wanted to talk to you. How come you never hang out with me outside of school and volleyball? You’ll hang out with Nishinoya, and the group- but aren’t best friends supposed to hang out?”</p><p>Kageyama is totally self conscious bringing up the topic and even more so when Hinata slumps a bit.</p><p>“I know,” he sighs, “I was just scared you wouldn’t wanna hang out or I’d be bugging you or boring. I might not look it, but I’m a kinda anxious person.”</p><p>Kageyama shakes his head, “Idiot, I’m here for you- I just have a hard time expressing myself. You can tell me anything, that’s what friends are for.”</p><p>Hinata wanting to restore their normal dynamic clutches his chest with both hands and starts with a mocking tone, “Aww Kageyama, I’m touched. You’re gonna make me cry, really.”</p><p>Kageyama smacks the shorter boy’s head, “This is why I’m not nice to you dumbass.”</p><p>Hinata smiles up at him, “Really though, thank you and I’ll be here for you too. For anything.”</p><p>Kageyama’s heart skips a beat at that. He also forces down a smile.</p><p>“You know what?” Hinata asks, “Why don’t we hang out at my house this afternoon?”</p><p>Kageyama relaxes, “Sure, that sounds like fun.”  </p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>					                                                                          ~⚣⚥⚣~</p>
</div><p>At lunch, Hinata makes his way to his and Kageyama’s usual table. </p><p>
  <em>‘I can’t believe how open he’s gotten! Especially the past couple of weeks, I’ve been wanting to get to know him better but I worried it’d make us both uncomfortable.’ *sigh, sitting down* ‘I guess it won’t be too bad for him if he suggested it- I just hope if I’m outed to him he isn’t too weird about it. Now that I think about it- Why was I disappointed when he said he was gay? Being straight, like he joked would’ve meant me and him would never happen, but I’m a guy so being gay means- Wait! Why would I be disappointed about not having a chance? We’re just friends! I- ’</em>
</p><p>His thoughts are cut off by a surprisingly close Tobi asking him something.</p><p>“What? Sorry, I was lost in thought.” Hinata answered focusing on the intense, slightly worried face of his friend.</p><p>“I was asking,” Kageyama explains, slightly annoyed, “if you were okay. You looked upset about something.”</p><p>“Oh,” Hinata laughs, “I was just thinking really hard about what we should do while we were hanging out, no worries. I just want to have fun with you.”</p><p>Kageyama fails to hide a small smile, “Idiot, we don’t have to do anything- I figured we’d work on homework and talk. Besides, we’re best friends and we don’t even use each others given name, we should be bonding a bit more.”</p><p>Shou blinked at that, “You’re right! How have I not noticed that?!”</p><p>“Maybe because you’re a dumbass?” Kageyama suggested with no venom.</p><p>“Whatever! I make better grades than you!” Hinata defends.</p><p>They both hide the light, elated feeling they now get whenever they have their mock arguments. In the end, it’s just those two.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>					                                                                 	~⚣⚥⚣~</p>
</div><p>Kageyama cannot for the life of him explain why he picks this song to loop for the rest of his classes but it just feels right as he hums to the chorus: </p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>                                                                                        ‘Cause you’re the apple to my pie<br/>
You’re the straw to my berry<br/>
You’re the smoke to my high<br/>
And you’re the one I wanna marry</em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>                                                                                     ‘Cause you’re the one for me (for me)</em><br/>
And I’m the one for you (for you)<br/>
You take the both of us (of us)<br/>
And we’re the perfect two (we’re the perfect two)
  </p>
</div><p>He would kill anyone if word ever got out- but he really likes soft and kind stuff, most of what he listens to falls more into what you would expect of a 12 year old girl instead of Karasuno’s infamous setter. </p><p>Hinata, currently in one of his two classes without Kageyama, is panicking about whether or not Kageyama will be able to clock him due to anything in his room or at his house.</p><p>
  <em>‘Why didn’t I just ask if he wanted to hangout so he could offer his place up? Stupid Shou, you know that it will be harder to stay stealth if you invite him over where all your medical stuff and pre-transition pictures are!’</em>
</p><p>He tries to calm down, thinking about how well things could go instead.</p><p>
  <em>‘He did say he wants to get to know me, that’s cool and unexpected. Especially considering he’s the closed off one- well not entirely but out of us two.’</em>
</p><p>Both boys could feel their anxiety and excitement grow as they felt the minutes tick by. Both wondering why they were so nervous, and what that meant. Friends do stuff like this all the time, no big deal. Hinata having secrets about his feelings and worry about outing himself, Kageyama having similar feelings and worry Hinata will push him away. Neither expecting what was to come.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Once again thanks for reading, leave a comment- I usually respond. Or a kudo. Thank you guys, gals, and enby pals for visiting and I hope to update again soon- I should probably work on the fact I haven't seen the entire anime though before I start the manga that shall RIP in our memories and hearts. Why am I so dramatic? Anyway, later!</p><p>PS: The song I listed is Perfect Two by Auburn, I used a part of the chorus.<br/>PSS: Just figured out the coding system for this and I feel smart and stupid at the same time</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. 20 Questions</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Hinata straddles Kageyama- or</p>
<p>Why Hinata and Kageyama play 20 questions</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I meant to get this up wayyyy earlier but oh well I'm putting it out now at least. I felt really connected to this chapter and I edited this one a little more than I normally do- so let me know what y'all think. Once again, Thank you @mochimatcha for everything, ilysm.</p>
<p>PS I studied honorifics a bit for this chapter and 'ka-chan' is mother/mom</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>“Mom! I’m home! Kageyama and I are gonna hangout for a bit in my room!” Shou calls to his mom upon entry.</p>
<p>Kageyama blinks, “You didn’t need permission beforehand?”</p>
<p>Hinata laughs, “Uh no, I just let her know as things happen, she’s used to it.”</p>
<p>Kageyama smiles, “I didn’t know what to expect from your family; I’m not sure why I’m surprised though.”</p>
<p>Hinata rolls his eyes and grabs the other boy’s hand, “Come on, I’ll show you my room.”</p>
<p>Walking down a short hallway it was the first room on the left. As Hinata opened the door he revealed a nice, moderate sized room. The full bed wasn’t made, it was a little messy, with a few shirts having missed the clothes hamper. There was a desk and chair with a lamp for studying, a couple of bean bags to sit/lay on, and a dresser with awards and photos on top. </p>
<p>“It’s cleaner than I thought,” Kageyama says without thinking.</p>
<p>Hinata laughs, “Thanks asshole, I’ll be sure to critique your room too.”</p>
<p>Kageyama frowns, “I meant, like you’re always so energetic and a bit chaotic, I thought your room would be the same.”</p>
<p>Hinata blinks, “I didn’t realize you thought about me so much Kageyama-kun.”</p>
<p>Kageyama forces his face to stay neutral to hide a slight blush, “Whatever dumbass, and don’t call me kun!”</p>
<p>“Yes, ka-chan,” Hinata snickers.</p>
<p>Kageyama sighs, wishing he hadn’t said anything in the first place.</p>
<p>Hinata sits his stuff down beside the bed, “So Yama-kun, did you wanna work on homework or have some fun?”</p>
<p>Kageyama, wondering how his name changed again- was also trying not to think of the alternate meanings fun had. </p>
<p>‘Why can’t I get these stupid thoughts out of my head? And why is he giving me cutesy nicknames?’</p>
<p>“What would fun entail?” Kageyama asks tentatively.</p>
<p>“You’re blushing!?” Hinata exclaims, and then defensively asks, “What do you think it means, Bakageyama?”</p>
<p>“I-” Tobio stammers, “I don’t think that- it means nothing! Idiot! Nevermind, I’ll just go home!”</p>
<p>‘Wait!’ is all Tobio hears before he’s tackled to the ground, with Hinata straddling his hips. </p>
<p>“Okay,” Hinata huffs, “I was just teasing you! I want things between us to be less tense.”</p>
<p>Kageyama laughs barely registering what Hinata is saying, “You thought this would help with that?”</p>
<p>Hinata scrambles to get up off of him, and holds out a hand helping the slightly disheveled and flustered teen up.</p>
<p>“Sorry,” Hinata apologises, “I just wanted the chance to explain.”</p>
<p>“Well,” Kageyama says, “I wanted the chance to get to know you.”</p>
<p>Hinata smiles nervously, “My mom has to travel for work a lot and takes Natsu with her, you could hang out with me more often.”</p>
<p>Kageyama relaxes, “Baby steps. So, what are we gonna do now?”</p>
<p>“Wanna play 20 questions?” Hinata suggests. </p>
<p>Both sit down on the beanbags.</p>
<p>“Sure, you go first.” Kageyama accepts.</p>
<p>Hinata thinks for a moment before asking, “What is your most embarrassing moment?”</p>
<p>Kageyama furrows his eyebrows and scrunches up his nose, “When I found out Saltyshima was practicing with another team’s setter.”</p>
<p>Hinata nodded, Kageyama does live for volleyball.</p>
<p>“So, Hinata. What’s your happiest memory?”</p>
<p>“Definitely my first real volleyball match in middle school.”</p>
<p>Kageyama frowns, “Didn’t we hate each other then? And you lost?”</p>
<p>Hinata laughs, “I know Kageyama, but I had worked so hard! I collected warm bodies to make up a boy’s team after I refused to join the girl’s. I finally was playing like I wanted to and- I even scored a few points. It was a dream come true before Karasuno.”</p>
<p>
  <em> ‘I can’t believe that little game meant so much to him.’ Kageyama thought. </em>
</p>
<p>“I’m sorry for the way I treated you then- I know I’m not the most loving or loveable person, but that was wrong for me to take my anger out on you.”</p>
<p>Hinata smiled softly, “Thank you, Tobio. So, what’s your happiest moment?”</p>
<p>Kageyama blushes looking down, “First year, we were training and you complimented my volleyball skills for the first time. And then we perfected the quick.”</p>
<p>“May I ask why that mattered so much to you,” Hinata asks.</p>
<p>“Because,” Kageyama blushed harder, “it was the first time someone -especially on my team- was nice to me- trusted me since- since the King of the Court ordeal.”</p>
<p>Hinata makes a sympathetic frown, brushing their knees together, “I understand being frustrated with you, but what they did was fucked up.”</p>
<p>“Anyway,” Kageyama tries to move on, “what’s your most embarrassing moment?”</p>
<p>Hinata sighs, “Being asked to join the girl’s volleyball team.”</p>
<p>Kageyama laughs, “I know you’re short, but wow! What kind of school did you go to?”</p>
<p>Hinata tries not to think about the fact their request wasn’t so ridiculous too long ago.</p>
<p>“Favorite hobby? Outside of volleyball.” Hinata asks.</p>
<p>“If you say anything I’ll kill you,” Kageyama warns, “I garden for my mom and I knit.”</p>
<p>“Awww,” Hinata said, “that’s really cute actually.”</p>
<p>Kageyama’s face twitches, flushing red, “Did you just call me cute?”</p>
<p>Hinata chokes on some spit stuttering, “I meant your hobbies, Bakageyama- I well, you are but- just ask me a damn question!”</p>
<p>“Oh, but you- You think I’m cute?” Kageyama asks.</p>
<p>Hinata sighs admitting, “Yes, you are attractive- so is half of our team though so don’t get a big head about it.”</p>
<p>“Oh, okay.” Kageyama says awkwardly.</p>
<p>
  <em> ‘Why did I tell him that?!’ Hinata mentally scolds himself. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> ‘Why did I make such a big deal of that?’ Kageyama does the same. </em>
</p>
<p>“So Kageyama,” Hinata asks, “who was your first crush?”</p>
<p>Kageyama’s face blushes lightly. </p>
<p>“Uh, I- I haven’t really had one actually.” He answers, looking at the floor.</p>
<p>“First kiss?” Kageyama asks Hinata.</p>
<p>Hinata blushes this time, “I haven’t had one.”</p>
<p>“Oh.” Kageyama answers.</p>
<p>“Favorite movie?” Hinata asks.</p>
<p>“Titanic.”</p>
<p>“I bet you cried.”</p>
<p>“You wanna cry?”</p>
<p>“Is that my official question?” </p>
<p>Kageyama rolls his eyes, “No. What are you most ashamed of?”</p>
<p>Hinata tries not to panic, it’s a normal enough question.</p>
<p>“Uhm, a birth defect I was born with.” He says not really lying.</p>
<p>“What kind of birth defect?” Kageyama wonders, half curious and half worried.</p>
<p>Hinata laughs, “Nothing serious, besides I answered your question already.”</p>
<p>Kageyama grumbles, “This is what I get for caring?”</p>
<p>Hinata sighs, “It’s just something I don’t like talking about. I’ll tell you, just not yet.”</p>
<p>“Are we friends?” Hinata asks.</p>
<p>“You’re my only friend, my best friend.” Kageyama answers.</p>
<p>Hinata is deeply touched and surprised by the openness they are having, both boys jump when Hinata’s mom knocks on the door.</p>
<p>“Dinner’s ready, Kageyama, you can stay if you want,” she offers him.</p>
<p>Kageyama smiles politely answering, “Thank you Hinata-san, but I think I should head home. Text me Shou.” </p>
<p>Shouyou smiles at the nickname, “I will, Tobi.”</p>
<p>And the two split for the night, both smiling thinking about the other.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p> ~⚣⚥⚣~ </p>
</div>Hinata-san asks her son at dinner, “Was that the Kageyama boy you’re always talking about?”<p>Hinata frowns, “I don’t talk about him that much, why?”</p>
<p>“Just wondering,” she explains, “he’s cute.”</p>
<p>Hinata looks scandalized, “MOM!”</p>
<p>“What? He is,” his mom defends.</p>
<p>“Can we just drop the subject please?” Hinata asks.</p>
<p>“Fine, but if he hurts my son, I’ll hurt him- no matter how attractive,” she comments.</p>
<p>Hinata groans, “Ka-chan!”</p>
<p>
  <em> ‘He’s so bad at hiding his feelings.’ Hinata-san thinks. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> ‘I wonder if he realizes he likes Kageyama yet?’ </em>
</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Drinks and Thoughts</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Shouyou gets Tobio to come to Nishi(noya)'s party with him and things get interesting after a few drinks each</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>About a week had passed, the two alternating between their homes to hang out with each other.</p>
<p>Message from Sunshine and Drainbows @&gt;@:<br/>Tobi-chan! Are you coming to Noya’s after practice? uwu</p>
<p>Reply from Tall, Dark, and Dumb &lt;3:<br/>I wasn’t planning on it. Do u want me 2? </p>
<p>Message from Sunshine and Drainbows @&gt;@:<br/>No! &gt;.&lt;’ It’s okay really! I just, I didn’t want to go alone.</p>
<p>Reply from Tall, Dark, and Dumb &lt;3: <br/>I’ll be there.</p>
<p>Hinata blushed at the thought of how easy it was to get Kageyama to come with him, they’d been really close lately. Kageyama would even initiate touches sometimes- only with Hinata though. The thought made the boy’s heart race.</p>
<p>Kageyama meanwhile, thinking about that stupid annoying little decoy that makes his heart race. </p>
<p>
  <em> ‘Why did I agree? He hadn’t even asked yet!’ Kageyama thought to himself. </em>
</p>
<p>
  <em> His brain answered, ‘Because you got jealous thinking about him going alone- you know how the guys on the team are. Even the straight ones (none) would do crazy things for a dare or bet.’ </em>
</p>
<p>Kageyama sighed, it was too late now- guess fate will just have to play out.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p> ~⚣⚥⚣~ </p>
</div>When they got to Noya’s house they knew they were screwed, it was the volleyball team from Karasuno, a few girls like Kiyoko and Yachi, music and lots of alcohol.<p>The music was actually really quiet and sort of mellow as the group passed drinks around and took their places, some on the floor some in furniture.</p>
<p>“So,” Noya sips his beer before continuing, “what should we do first?”</p>
<p>A few ideas are thrown out, truth or dare, 7 minutes in heaven, beer pong. No one could agree, until… </p>
<p>“Let’s play drunken go fish- every time you make a pair you have a jello shot,” Tanka suggested, eyeing the girls carefully.</p>
<p>Hinata whispers to Kageyama, “This could be fun.”</p>
<p>The two are sitting pressed together in a love seat they mistook for a small couch.</p>
<p>Noya grabs the cards, 3 decks for the number of people, and passes out five cards each. </p>
<p>“I’ll go first,” he volunteers as host, “Tsukishima, you got any 2s?”</p>
<p>Tsuki passes a card over and Noya takes a shot, the game goes on like this for a bit.</p>
<p>Kei didn’t take a shot the first round, then Yamaguchi does, Daichi does, Suga doesn’t- and so on. The last two for the first round are Hinata and Kageyama, the uptight setter ends up throwing his head back, alcohol burning his throat. Hinata just watches his throat as he swallows.</p>
<p>As they're waiting for the next round to continue way around, “Hey Hinata! Why haven’t you touched a drink?” Noya asks the first year.</p>
<p>Hinata blushes, “I’ve never drank before, I just wanna be careful.”</p>
<p>Noya laughs, but the rest of the team thinks it’s adorable. Before they know what’s happening ‘CHUG, CHUG, CHUG!’ has become the room's chant. Hinata knows he can’t go overboard drinking due to his hormones, but he’s a kid and wants to have fun.</p>
<p>He grabs a beer from Kageyama’s hand and starts chugging- despite the bitter taste of alcohol and doesn’t stop till the can is empty. The crow cheers, people who have more experience with substances always love to see how people react their first time.</p>
<p>Hinata doesn’t feel much different at the moment, a little horny, slightly warm, highly aware of how his and Kageyama’s bodies are touching.</p>
<p>Suga claps him on the shoulder, “Have one of these, they taste better.”</p>
<p>Hinata recieves a shot glass with a blue colored liquid in it. A jello shot. He tips his head back letting the alcohol bypass his tongue and head straight for his stomach and throat.</p>
<p>This time his brain seems a little fuzzy coming back, and he waves off the offer of another.</p>
<p>He sits back down next to Kageyama, throwing his cards at the group. The taller boy looks at him head turned sideways, but Hinata just snuggles into the male’s side getting comfortable.</p>
<p>“If you could date anyone who would it be?” Shou asks Tobi.</p>
<p>Tobio blinks, “Hinata are you feeling okay?”</p>
<p>Hinata pouts, “I liked you calling me Shou-chan.” </p>
<p>Hinata gets the distinct feeling he wouldn’t normally be this open but right now he feels euphoric, like the first time he was called the proper name and pronouns.</p>
<p>“Okay, Shou-chan-,” Kageyama rephrases, “are you okay?”</p>
<p>Hinata smiles, pinching his cheek, “I feel great Tobi-chan! How are you?”</p>
<p>Kageyama isn’t as buzzed as Hinata but still can’t hide the happiness he feels being around the other. He smiles softly as Shouyou gently strokes his jaw with his thumb.</p>
<p>It had only been a week and their close friendship had already grown so much larger than it was with just volleyball. Their moods, moves, plays were in sync, Hinata was getting better at receives and Kageyama was getting better at being nice to his fellow teammates.</p>
<p>Kageyama focused on Shou’s eyes, and how they were tracing his face so intently- he felt naked but appreciated- the look Hinata had looking at him made his heart pound. Like a child seeing fireworks for the first time- awe. He also realized at that moment, Hinata had moved their seated positions, Kageyama was sitting on the cushion of the love seat and Hinata was in his lap. How had he gone from cuddling his side to this without him noticing?</p>
<p>Kageyama shifted his hips in the seat and Hinata silently held tighter onto him as they moved positions. When the tray came around this time, Kageyama gladly downed another shot.</p>
<p>“Hey, Kageyama?” Hinata used this name to make sure the other boy knew he was serious.</p>
<p>“Yes Shou?” Kageyama asked him.</p>
<p>Hinata in a happy but quiet voice tells him, “I think I trust you more than anyone else.”</p>
<p>Kageyama, feeling the second shot by this point squeezes the decoy tightly against him, “Me too.”</p>
<p>“WHO WANT’S TO PLAY TRUTH OT DARE?!” a drunk Asahi exclaims loudly.</p>
<p>Suga, whom is basically sitting in Daichi’s lap giggles with an empty bottle in his hand and raises it into the air. Asahi nods, and drags a flushed Noya back into the group.</p>
<p>“Let’s play,” Hinata laughs.</p>
<p>Kageyama is slightly weary, “I don’t know-”</p>
<p>Hinata rolls his eyes, “It’s just the guys what could happen.”</p>
<p>Kageyama could think of several hundred things that could- none of them good.</p>
<p>“Please,” Shou gives him a pouty face.</p>
<p>Kageyama sighs, and agrees.</p>
<p>“Okay, youngest has to go first. Kageyama! Truth or dare?” Noya declares.<br/>Kageyama sighs, “Dare.”</p>
<p>
  <em> ‘It’s the first dare, they’ll go easy on me,’ he thinks to himself. </em>
</p>
<p>Noya whispers to Tanka, and Tanka whispers back.</p>
<p>When they come out of their whisper huddle Noya decides, “You and Hinata have to kiss with tongue, for at least 90 seconds.”</p>
<p>Both boy’s faces are totally red, “WHAT THE HELL GUYS?! First dares are supposed to be lighter than the rest!”</p>
<p>Nishinoya rolls his eyes, “It’s not such a big deal, you guys share food and drinks- that’s indirect kissing. Watch.”</p>
<p>Noya grabs Asahi by the jaw and frenches him for a good 30 seconds.</p>
<p>“See, no big deal,” Noya laughs, but Asahi looks well and truly flustered.</p>
<p>Kageyama turns to Hinata, “It’s up to you- I don’t want to do anything you don’t want.”</p>
<p>Hinata smiles, “Noya’s right- it’s not a big deal. Let’s just get this over with.”</p>
<p>Kageyama feels a strange sensation at his nonchalance about them sharing a kiss (their first for both of them!) for a dare infront of their entire team. (Dissapointment? Hurt?) He can’t place it.</p>
<p>Seeing that everyone is watching and Tanka has a timer, Kageyama licks his lips and puts his hand under Hinata’s jaw.</p>
<p>“We can stop whenever, just let me know,” Kageyama tells his friend.</p>
<p>Hinata rolls his eyes, before putting a hand in Tobi’s hair and bringing their mouths together.</p>
<p>A loud, ‘OOOOH!’ is heard from the crowd.</p>
<p>Kageyama was in shock, freezing for a moment before remembering, <em> ‘This is just a dare.’ </em> He kisses Hinata back, both tentative at first, trying to figure out what feels best. Kageyama runs his tongue along Hinata’s bottom lip and runs one hand down his side. Hinata, now fully straddling the slightly younger boy, feels like his heart is beating out of his chest. He groans into Kageyama’s mouth when the boy grips his hair tight in his hand. He tries to keep thoughts that he knows shouldn’t be in his head out- but between the alcohol and the intoxicating feeling of Kageyama kissing him he throws caution out the window when he starts to grind on Tobi’s lap.</p>
<p>The party-goers are quite shocked, Tanka looks down at the stop watch- 120 seconds.</p>
<p>He clears his throat, “You can stop now.”</p>
<p>And the two pull apart, slightly less comfortable than before.</p>
<p>Hinata tries to laugh it off, “See? No big deal.”</p>
<p>Kageyama seems to shut down.</p>
<p>Stupid truths and dares continue, Suga admits he wants Daichi to fuck him, Asahi kisses Noya, Tanka admits he’s bi. But all Hinata and Kageyama can think about is how it felt kissing the other. They’re close physically to everyone but disconnected mentally and emotionally for the rest of the party.</p>
<p>Eventually, wordlessly, Hinata brings Kageyama to his house, not bothering to be careful since his mom and Natsu are out of town. As Kageyama follows Hinata to his room all he can think is, <em> ‘I don’t want this to end yet’. </em></p>
<p>“Get comfortable, and I’ll be out soon,” Hinata tells Kageyama.</p>
<p>Hinata quickly and carefully takes off his binder and luckily for him has a small chest as an althete with good genes. He doesn’t usually wear a sports bra to bed but it’ll be okay for one night, taking his B’s down to pretty flat A’s. He throws on a large comfy t-shirt and takes out his packer, but leaving his boxers and heads to bed.</p>
<p>Kageyama is standing awkwardly naked save for boxers and looks to Hinata for help. Hinata walks over to the bed, lying on his back (flattening his chest even more) and pats the bed beside him.</p>
<p>Kageyama blushes but walks over and sits next to him.</p>
<p>“Tobi-chan! Lay down!” Hinata demands.</p>
<p>Kageyama feels more sober than before, and wonders how Hinata feels.</p>
<p>“Hinata?” Tobio asks.</p>
<p>“Shou-chan,” Hinata corrects.</p>
<p>“Shou-chan, are you still buzzed?” Kageyama asks.</p>
<p>Shouyou swallows, “Why?”</p>
<p>Tobio sighs, “Can we talk?”</p>
<p>Both are still buzzed but have a more sober kind of mindset.</p>
<p>“What’s wrong Tobio-san?” Shouyou asks, sensing his demeanor.</p>
<p>Kageyama lays down next to him, and Hinata turns on his side so they are face to face.</p>
<p>Kageyama just studies Hinata for a minute, Hinata doing the same before asking, “Did you really feel nothing when we kissed at the party?”</p>
<p>“It felt good, if that’s what you mean,” Hinata says, trying not to reveal himself before knowing what Kageyama meant.</p>
<p>Kageyama feels worse about Hinata’s answer but not being sure what he was looking for takes it, “What else would I mean dumbass? Goodnight.” </p>
<p>He feels Hinata cuddling his body, even slipping a hand under his side. He doesn’t understand why he feels so sad, but he falls asleep with a tear running down his face.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hi to whoever actually reads my chapter notes! I can't believe I've had so much inspiration for these two lately (although it's cause they're the best!) I'm actually neglecting my other stories a bit. Anyway this chapter is long for me (idk why I always want to write more than I end up typing) so I was super proud of myself. Sorry for the bit of an angsty ending- fair warning it'll probably get a little better in the next chapter and then worse- because I want them to have an actual story and process their feelings. I wish I'd been able to write more about them getting to know each other (like @mochimatcha is great at) but I'm resting more on the fact that this would be an alternate version of their second year (I've seen 3 seasons of the anime and haven't read any of the manga) but they mostly learn each other through volleyball because it's their passion. Anyway, I'm not sure what I'm doing with them yet though I have an idea. I hope you guys will like it as much as I do but I needed them to get a little 'no homo' for a minute with loving idk why. The fact they were buzzed wasn't the best in terms of consent but the point was to make it look like a casual thing that causes problems for their friendship. I'm also pretty sure Shouyoy is about to come out to Kageyama so stay tuned. This was a lot.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. What?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Hinata and Kageyama talk to each other about the party, Hinata comes out to Kageyama.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So I'm trying not to cry rn which is fun- idk why. I'm just in a melancholy mood- it doesn't help I'm listening to this chapter's featured song on repeat. I wanted to be kinda informative with my explanations and I know I didn't explain them fully but I felt like that would be going a bit overboard. I'm not sure how much longer this story will be but it's definitely gonna get sadder before it gets better, so be warned. Hope y'all enjoy it.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kageyama wakes up warm, he had the best sleep ever last night. When he opens his eyes, he sees at some point during the night he turned toward Hinata, and the shorter boy is lying tucked into his arms. His heart fills with a warm sort of sadness- like a soldier kissing their fiance before departure. The way this moment made him feel was the same way felt listening to The Only Exception by an American group.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p> <em>And curse at the wind. </em></p>
</div>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p> <em>He broke his own heart and I watched </em></p>
</div>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>As he tried to reassemble it. </em>
  </p>
</div>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p> <em>And my momma swore </em></p>
</div>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>That she would never let herself forget. </em>
  </p>
</div>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p> <em>And that was the day that I promised </em></p>
</div>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p> <em>I'd never sing of love if it does not exist. </em></p>
</div>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p> <em>But darling, </em></p>
</div>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p> <em>You are the only exception. </em></p>
</div>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p> <em>You are the only exception. </em></p>
</div>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p> <em>You are the only exception. </em></p>
</div>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p> <em>You are the only exception. </em></p>
</div>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p> <em>… </em></p>
</div>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p> <em>I've got a tight grip on reality, </em></p>
</div>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>But I can't let go of what's in front of me here. </em>
  </p>
</div>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p> <em>I know you're leaving in the morning when you wake up. </em></p>
</div>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p> <em>Leave me with some kind of proof it's not a dream. </em></p>
</div>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p> <em>Oh-oh-oh-ohhh. </em></p>
</div>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p> <em>You are the only exception. [4x] </em></p>
</div>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p> <em>You are the only exception. [4x] </em></p>
</div>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>And I'm on my way to believing. </em>
  </p>
</div>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p> <em>Oh, and I'm on my way to believing. </em></p>
</div><p>The way he felt must’ve been similar to all your dreams coming true, just to be taken away the moment you started to enjoy it. </p>
<p>He decided if all he would have is this- he might as well enjoy it. He ignores his morning wood and hugs Hinata closer to his chest. He’s worried that he already knows what his feelings mean- I’m falling for Shouyou.</p>
<p>Kageyama holds down the overwhelming urge to sob, he knows he’ll never be good enough for his best friend and-. A still sleeping Shou cuddles closer to Tobio- and Tobio feels something.</p>
<p>Furrowing his brows, and now out of his head, he studies the chest of the boy before him. </p>
<p>
    <em>‘It almost felt like- but why would Hinata have those?! Wouldn’t the team have noticed?” Kageyama thinks.</em>
  </p>
<p>Probably from the stiffening of Tobio’s body- Hinata is disturbed into slowly waking up. And Shouyou- this being Shou- is quite slow to wake and extremely touchy-feely when tired. He yawns and snuggles in closer to the warm thing holding him as memories of the night before and awareness of his surroundings set in.</p>
<p>It’s then that Hinata blinks his eyes open to a very close and slightly uncomfortable looking Tobi. </p>
<p>Shouyou with his head pounding asks, “Are you okay Tobio?”</p>
<p>Kageyama still worried has to ask, “Do you have- like a hormonal condition or something?”</p>
<p>Shouyou flushes, because yes he does, “Um, what makes you ask?”</p>
<p>Tobio flushes this time, “Well um, when you were asleep and you cuddled into my chest yours felt- ? Like a girl’s does. Not that you’re a girl! It was just the easiest way to describe the feeling. I just wanna make sure you’re okay.”</p>
<p>Hinata is currently trying to not have a panic attack, he knows he could use the Gynecomastia excuse- but this is Tobio- his Tobio. He doesn’t wanna do that.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>“So no it’s nothing serious- as in life threatening,” Hinata tries to explain.  </p>
<p>He rushes to continue, “You remember that birth defect you asked about? And me telling you I trusted you?”</p>
<p>Kageyama nods silent and still, listening.</p>
<p>Hinata feeling overwhelmed almost to the point of tears continues to try and explain, “It has to do with that. See when I was born the doctors and my parents thought I was a girl.”</p>
<p>Tobio seems confused, “Why would they think that?”</p>
<p>Shouyou laughs at that, “Well Tobio- I’m a boy but I’m also female, I used to have the body of a girl.”</p>
<p>Kageyama’s face heats up before he’s even processed what that means.</p>
<p>“Wait so like- are you intersex?” Kageyama asks.</p>
<p>Hinata smiles, “No, I’m transgender- intersex people have biological traits from males and females like a female with internal male genetalia or a male who is insensitive to testosterone and is mistaken for a female. As a trans person I was born female and expected to grow into a girl, but I’ve pretty much always been a boy even if I didn’t realise it. When you met me in middle school I had just started my medical transition, I was taking male puberty hormones to feel more like myself. Unfortunately, I’d already started female puberty before I realized I was a boy and could tell my mom. Does that help you understand?”</p>
<p>Tobio’s head hurt, “Wait so you have- those are boobs?!”</p>
<p>Shou sighed at the term and then laughed, “Yes, but I don’t refer to my chest that way- I have this sort of depression that some transpeople experience. It’s called gender dysphoria, or just dysphoria, and some days are worse than others but triggers are things that make me feel like I’m less of a man. Like my chest being called boobs for example, or being called she, or not having a dick.”</p>
<p>Tobio’s jaw dropped, “Wait so you-”</p>
<p>Shouyou covers his face with his hand for a minute.</p>
<p>“Look, the specifics don’t matter too much- I’m the same person you’ve always known, I’m still a boy- just a bit different than most,” Hinata tries to explain.</p>
<p>Kageyama felt very confused, “Thank you for telling me, and trusting me. I just feel like- I feel confused not about you, but in general. Can we talk about last night?”</p>
<p>Hinata having anxiety about how Kageyama feels but isn’t saying studies his face for signs of hidden emotions whilst answering, “Sure, what’d you wanna talk about?”</p>
<p>Tobio flushed, the embarrassment and frustration appearing on his face and in his eyes, “Well, you remember the um- the truth or dare game?”</p>
<p>Hinata notes the emotions crossing his face and tries to relax, “Sorta, what part are you talking about?”</p>
<p>Kageyama can’t hold back anymore, “US KISSING YOU DUMBASS! That’s the fucking part I meant.”</p>
<p>Hinata’s stomach sinks, and he begins rambling, “I’m sorry! I thought it was like Noya and Asahi did, I thought you were fine last night. Are you uncomfortable that I’m trans?”</p>
<p>Kageyama face palms this time, “No Shouyou, I’m not- you are still my best friend and I still trust you; that doesn’t make me uncomfortable with us kissing either. I just wanted to make sure things wouldn’t be awkward or weird between us because of it.”</p>
<p>Shouyou thought about it for a moment, his heart sinking to his feet as he answered, “No Kageyama, it was just a kiss for a dare that our friends gave us while we were buzzed- we can’t let things like that ruin our friendship.”</p>
<p>Kageyama nodded before checking his phone, “Shit, I need to get home- the folks’ll wonder where I’m at.”</p>
<p>“Text me!” Hinata calls to him.</p>
<p>But for some reason both boys feel dead inside.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thanks as always for reading, and I'm not sure how sad things will get so I will keep that in mind in case I need trigger warning in a future chapter- I doubt it but I'd like to let everyone know I use them if the content is sensitive because as a person with PTSD I get triggered by things I didn't even know were triggers so I like to label obvious ones. Please leave a like and or comment letting me know what you think!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Realizations</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Kageyama and Hinata hate on themselves for being horny for the other without their knowledge/consent and plan how to handle school Monday (horny and angsty- it's a new combo for me)</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I know this chapter is a bit short but I'm in a weird mood from a binge of Euphoria for the first time (JulesxRue and LexixRue are my new favorite things other than FezxRue, CassiexMaddie, and CatxEthan, Nathan is Ted Bundy and I've only seen up to episode 5 so his Halloween as that is still to come but he can suck a dick since he's craving so badly. Anyway, as a recovering addict myself (2 years and five months sober) as well as being queer AF the show is fucking amazing- I just wish they'd had at least one dark skinned girl (also where's the asian rep) (maybe season 2 can fix that?) since uh it is diverse, but still has some work to do (IK I'm a freaking white boy but I like diversity being normalized cause I know people are diverse and beautiful) but yeah it made me write a horny style of sad kinda like the show.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Kageyama had a problem, well- he had several problems, almost all of which revolve around him sporting a woody everytime he tries to think about his best friend. </p><p>His best friend - Hinata Shouyou, a 5’7 adorable, sexy, dumb, oblivious human being who Kageyama has fallen in love with.</p><p>He doesn’t know how he didn’t realize sooner or even when his feelings crossed over the platonic line but in a matter of weeks his thoughts went from ‘You fucking annoying dumbass!’ to ‘This fucking adorable dumbass’ and has reached, ‘I want this adorable dumbass to be mine and only mine.’</p><p>Did he mention he’s very gay for this ftm boy? Yeah, he just found out after they kissed. Kageyama felt really stupid when he had no clue what Hinata was trying to explain, so- when he went home he started doing so research.</p><p>He was still having a hard time seeing how anyone could think Shou was anything but a boy. He was curious after hearing so many hormone updates what ‘T growth’ looked like. So he went to pornhub for answers- and holy shit is T cock sexy.</p><p>He may or may not have spent a while searching for a ginger he could imagine was Hinata playing with his growth and- DAMN! Tobio was still totally turned off by girls- cis or trans, but Kageyama found trans guy bodies just as hot as cis ones. </p><p>Having avoided a sexuality crisis with one google search “is a guy liking a trans guy gay?”, and the answer, “yes”. He was now just guilty because all he could think about was Hinata’s body. Of course he liked more than just his body, but Kageyama is also a teenage boy who does a lot of exercise boosting his natural testosterone to the top of their natural levels.</p><p>In other words, he’s horny constantly. He has done it a lot less since Shou’s face has started making its way into his fantasies- the guilt too much for him to bear.</p><p>He hasn’t spoken to Shou since the morning after the party Friday night, and he isn’t looking forward to facing him at school tomorrow.</p><p>Tobio is upset because he knows he’s not good enough for Hinata, he’s also upset that Hinata seems to agree acting like the kiss was nothing. He’s also hurt by the fact Shou hid his being trans for so long, he’s comforted by the videos that say it’s a huge deal for safety and emotional reasons- but still! He wishes he could tell Shou exactly how much he cares without ruining things.</p><p>
  <em> ‘I’m so fucking disgusting and useless, I wouldn’t want me either,’ he thought to himself. </em>
</p><p><em> ‘Shou deserves the world and more- and I’m just a pathetic setter that couldn’t even get his team to trust him,’ he thinks with tears starting to rise to his eyes. </em> </p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p> ~⚣⚥⚣~</p>
</div>Hinata is having a hard time, which would not be the end of the world if his Mom wasn’t always extremely concerned about his mental health. Then again coming out to your gay best friend that you aren’t sure is attracted to transguys that you’re also in love with but haven’t heard from in almost 2 days would ruin just about anyone’s mental health.<p>He tells himself it’s not that Tobio is freaked out about the kissing- or grinding- and or his being trans. There has to be another explanation! </p><p>Even though he literally can’t think of anything except possible reasons and then debunking them. Like, ‘Kageyama is probably just not on his phone, maybe he lost it.’ until he finds Kageyama leaving likes on new posts on soc. Or, ‘maybe he hasn’t been getting my texts?’ until he checks messenger and sees it says not only, ‘delivered’ but also ‘read’.</p><p>Hinata has also been super horny as he gets right before his next injection, and lately when he uses his dildo he imagines it’s Tobio inside of him- which Shou feels terrible about afterward, he actually almost came the night they kissed.</p><p>He hates himself, knowing it’s wrong and disrespectful to Tobio. His T growth stiffens every time the boy is mentioned- and he wants to do very irresponsible and violent things at the thought of Tobio liking anyone. Hinata has had a crush or two before but this is way beyond this, he loves every twitch of Kageyama’s face, each frown that signals his real emotions under a cold mask- his expressive eyes.</p><p>He knows Tobio has been acting differently lately. And now Shou will never know why because Tobio is ignoring him.</p><p>He doesn’t understand! Tobio’s eyes said he was genuinely fine with Shou being trans- it wasn’t until Hinata said the kiss didn’t have to mean anything that this happened.</p><p>Did Shouyou cross a line? But he apologised! -Then again this is Tobio we’re talking about, the boy it took a month of working with to get him to return hugs.</p><p>It’s Sunday so Shouyou can apologise after school tomorrow. It really was insensitive of him to not consider this before. He just hopes Kageyama won’t stay mad at him.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thanks for reading and let me know what you thought with a comment and or kudo- thanks. I need to write for Euphoria when I get done with one of my fics.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. I don't care!</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Kageyama and Hinata have a different type of day whilst preparing to see each other again.<br/>CW for Depressive thoughts and Kageyama self isolating</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>So I actually ended up changing the end of this chapter cause it originally was gonna be my third to last one, but I wanna stretch out this one a little longer, and see Hinata's will all over again because it'll be him trying to get Kageyama to open up again from now on till the end- Hinata doesn't want to ruin things, but he's also not as vulnerable as Kageyama at this point. Let me know what you think!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>For the first time since the first day of freshman year, both boys make their journey to school alone and depressed.<br/>
Hinata tries to keep the tears threatening his eyes at bay when he thinks of the possibility this will be a new routine if Kageyama doesn’t forgive him.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>~⚣⚥⚣~</p>
</div>Kageyama is early to school, sulking outside of the gym.<p>“Hey Kageyama,” Suga says, showing up with the key, “everything alright?”</p>
<p>Tobio wants to lie but can’t, “Suga-senpai, what do you do if you like someone but you don’t think they like you back?”</p>
<p>Sugawara blinks, a little surprised the usually reserved fellow setter is asking him such a question, “Well there’s really only one thing to do-”</p>
<p>Kageyama perks up at that.</p>
<p>“... you said you think they don’t like you. You need to confess your feelings, and whether their response is good or bad you need to accept it,” Suga explains.</p>
<p>Kageyama’s hope is extinguished, until Sugawara says, “If it does go badly you could always try staying friends and seeing if things change for one of you.”</p>
<p>Tobio has to leave before his teammate can see the tears now tracking his face.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>~⚣⚥⚣~</p>
</div>When Hinata gets to school he barely has time before the bell rings to get to class. He looks like shit, his hair is messier than usual, he has bags under his eyes from lack of sleep and stress, and his whole demeanor is much more downtrodden than normal.<p>Yachi, whom he shares his first period with as well as Kageyama- is staring at him and ends up passing a note,</p>
<p>
  <em>‘Are you okay?’ is written in her neat style of kanji.</em>
</p>
<p>He rolls his eyes and sends back, <em>‘I’m fine, just stressed.’</em></p>
<p><em>‘Wanna talk about it?’ </em> she offers.</p>
<p>It’s at this point a tear drips onto the page with his answer, </p>
<p>At lunch Hinata sits at their usual table, and eats very little. He wouldn’t eat at all if they didn’t have practice this afternoon. The whole half hour, no sign of Kageyama.</p>
<p>He noticed during the day Kageyama seemed to be more paranoid about him than upset, which helped to settle his crying. </p>
<p><em>‘Maybe, I’ll apologise before practice,’ </em> Hinata plans.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>~⚣⚥⚣~</p>
</div>By the time practice does finally roll around Hinata is starting to feel a lot better, he’s just going to apologize to Kageyama and things will go back to normal. He feels a slight pang in his chest at the thought of staying friends only with the boy, but he’ll take what he can get.<p>Hinata, in preparation to apologise, tries to leave early to make it to practice ahead of time.</p>
<p>One problem, Hinata is a very popular guy. He’s gotten several love confessions ever since they won against Ushiwaka, and he’s also made a ton of friends.</p>
<p>So when trying to speed through the hallway to practice he politely declines many offers to talk and ignores waving hands to fix things with the person who matters most, Kageyama.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>~⚣⚥⚣~</p>
</div>Kageyama started class feeling paranoid, he could tell that everyone, including Hinata, knew about his crush somehow. He knew this was an irrational notion, but once he saw Yachi and Hinata passing notes, something in his heart broke. He knew Sugawara was right, they could always be friends- but Kageyama knew that would never be enough for him. He might have to go back to the attitude he had in middle school.<p><em>‘This is what happens when you allow yourself to care about others,’</em> he thought.</p>
<p>
  <em>‘I don’t need anyone anyway.’</em>
</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>~⚣⚥⚣~</p>
</div><p>He spent lunch crying in the bathroom with an edited version of The Only Exception on repeat:</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>
    <em>Maybe I know somewhere deep in my soul<br/>
That love never lasts.<br/>
And we've got to find other ways to make it alone.<br/>
Or keep a straight face.</em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>And I've always lived like this</em><br/>
Keeping a comfortable distance.<br/>
And up until now I have sworn to myself<br/>
That I'm content with loneliness.
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>Because none of it was ever worth the risk.</em>
  </p>
</div>He sobs because, like always, anything good that happens to him ends with him being more miserable than he was in the beginning.<p>He cries for how much Hinata trusts and cares about him, he cries for himself and his love that will never be realized. He knows he has to get his shit together, he can’t go into his classes or to practice in such a state. </p>
<p>
  <em>‘Why is my life always like this? Am I the problem?’</em>
</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p>~⚣⚥⚣~</p>
</div><p>Kageyama, upon cleaning himself up, realized he was late for practice. He swore quietly as he ran toward the gym.</p>
<p>Thankfully Ukai wasn’t here for the day yet or he’d be running laps, Dachi comes to the locker room to talk to him while he changes and does stretches.</p>
<p>He sits on a bench, sighing before talking, “Kageyama, Suga told me about what you both discussed this morning after you were late- the look on your face says it didn’t go well. As long as you don’t make this lateness a habit I’m willing to overlook today, due to your circumstances.”</p>
<p>The only good news Kageyama had gotten in several days, he wasn’t as happy as he should be. Not running laps meant being on the court with-, well it was gonna happen sooner or later.</p>
<p>When Kageyama got out of the locker room he saw Hinata practicing his receives in a proper stance for once. His mouth twitched at the sight before going back to a bitter grimace.</p>
<p>He might as well get used to hiding how he feels again.</p>
<p>Soon after Kageyama did warm ups they were setting up for a practice game, he knew if he said anything about playing with Hinata there would be questions so he stuffs himself down his throat and allows this to happen.</p>
<p>Hinata ran over with a look of relief on his face, he looked much better than he had this morning, “Hey Tobio, I wanted to talk to you about-,” Hinata rushes to greet him.</p>
<p>Kageyama glares at him, “About what dumbass?” </p>
<p>Hinata hears the old venom back in his voice, “Look, I’m sorry for what I did to upset you this weekend.”</p>
<p>Kageyama’s eyes threaten tears once again, “Shut up idiot! I don’t care, and I don’t want your apology!”</p>
<p>Hinata is extremely confused, but tries to continue, “I know you said you didn’t have a problem with me being…  So I thought about it, and I’m really sorry I made you do the dare- it was-,”</p>
<p>“SHUT THE FUCK UP ALREADY DUMBASS! I TOLD YOU I DON’T CARE, ABOUT ANY OF IT!” and marches away from the red head trying to cover up the tears in his eyes.</p>
<p>While he was crying in the bathroom earlier he found out the girl who wrote The Only Exception had actually had her heartbroken not long after she wrote that song, the same one that had her ‘on my way to believing’.</p>
<p>Kageyama relates to that right now, why did he think it would be so easy to stuff down his feelings? With the one person who knows how to lower his walls. He couldn’t bear to hear him apologize for the kiss- it would kill him.</p>
<p>He runs back out to his side of the net for the game, since it’s just their team, they’re bringing out their spare players to get more practice too. </p>
<p>Hinata was blown completely from left field by Kageyama’s behavior- he knew he’d upset him, but not this badly. That just means he’s gonna have to work harder to show Kageyama how much he cares.</p>
<p>Kageyama’s sets were a bit off but Hinata more than made up for that, using every pass he was given to score. He made sure to tell Kageyama thanks as always and compliment his skills the whole game.</p>
<p>Every single compliment out of that mouth helped Kageyama rebuild the wall Hinata had worked so hard to take down. He was going to be even harder to read than before, if that’s what it took to keep their friendship.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thanks for reading, as always. I can't believe the amount of love and support this fic has gotten in such a short amount of time. I know I should probably learn to edit and tag better, but this is how I am at the moment and that's how I want my writing to reflect. See y'all soon.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Normal</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>In which Kageyama tries to act like a 'normal' friend and Hinata low key takes advantage (Kageyama teasing Hinata)</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>TBH I feel like this chapter comes off as a little bit OOC Kageyama but it makes sense in my head so let me know what you think in the comments. Basically Kageyama is aiming to act like his own version of Nishinoya in this chapter, I think that helps with the context of what I was going for. TBH idk where we're going from here so you'll be about as surprised as I will. BTW I know I'm a trans author but I also have to admit I'm a lot more comfortable with my body than a lot of trans binary people my age, I still have lots of dysphoria but I'm a little more relaxed about the language used about my body, that us my preference and if anyone doesn't want certain language used to describe their body you should definitely respect that and follow those rules with them or look for someone else to do what you want with. We're people and we're all different, so act accordingly.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Hinata was following Kageyama home, “What the fuck are you doing Hinata?”</p>
<p>So they were back to Family names, Shouyou noted, “We always hang out after school.”</p>
<p>Kageyama couldn’t believe he had to say this, “That was before.”</p>
<p>Hinata at this point was starting to feel hurt, “Before what, Tobio?”</p>
<p>“Before we kissed dumbass!” Kageyama yelled, “Then you came out to me!”</p>
<p>Hinata was starting to tear up, “I thought you didn’t care about that?!”</p>
<p>Tobio was hurt- but not hurt enough to hurt Shouyou, “I don’t care about you being trans dumbass.” His voice had come out a whisper.</p>
<p>“Then what?” Hinata asked, starting to notice the tears Kageyama was fighting in his eyes.</p>
<p>“That was my first kiss, I wanted it to mean something,” the taller boy confesses.</p>
<p>Hinata understood at that moment, he knew it was Tobio’s first kiss- why would he want it to be with his best friend instead of someone special? Not only had Shouyou ignored his tendency for wanting less physical contact, but he also stole Kageyama’s first kiss. If Shouyou was a better person- the kind of person Kageyama deserved, he might have confessed to Kageyama in that moment, said the kiss could’ve been just the beginning. But Hinata isn’t that sort of person, Kageyama deserves better, wants better.</p>
<p>He grabs Kageyama’s hands, looking deep into his eyes, “I’m so so sorry if me taking your first kiss isn’t what you had in mind, I crossed lines of our friendship and your own personal boundaries. But don’t you think for one second, that I don’t care about you. I will do anything I can to try and show you how much from now on.”</p>
<p>Kageyama’s heart thumped heavily, the way Hinata was looking at him- so sincerely, the sound of earnestness in his voice. This felt like a confession, and that was enough to give Kageyama hope.</p>
<p>Kageyama lets go of Hinata’s hand walking away, after a few steps he sees Hinata isn’t following and says, “Come on dumbass, are we going to your house or what?”</p>
<p>Hinata was so shocked he stumbled to his bike, before climbing on and pedaling with an intelligent, “Uh, yeah,” leaving his mouth.</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p> ~⚣⚥⚣~ </p>
</div>Hinata wasn’t exactly sure what to do with Kageyama now that they were at his house, his Mom and sister leaving moments after they arrived- his mom was glad to see that her son was okay again.<p>“So what do you wanna do? Maybe questions about me being trans?” Hinata asked casually.</p>
<p>Kageyama contemplated the question, and how much to tell him, “I do, but I did a little bit of research to have less ignorant bare minimum questions.”</p>
<p>Shou raised his eyebrows, “Like what?”</p>
<p>Kageyama avoided his eyes and his face was less expressive than usual, “Just basic stuff, you said you were born a girl so you’re a trans guy right?”</p>
<p>Hinata nodded so Kageyama continued, “And since you’re a guy that would mean you dating a girl would be a straight relationship and and dating a guy-”</p>
<p>“Would be a gay one,” Shou supplied when Tobio faultered.</p>
<p>Tobio cleared his throat, “Yeah, and uh are you nonbinary?”</p>
<p>Hinata looked surprised, “I’m honestly not sure, if I had to say probably not- but there are plenty of enby identifying men and women, and people- it’s a bit of a spectrum really.”</p>
<p>Kageyama nodded, taking in the semi new information.</p>
<p>When they started walking toward Shou’s room he had to ask, “How do you?...”</p>
<p>He gestured to his own crotch area and then Hinata’s.</p>
<p>Shouyou laughed, “Tobio, it’s called packing- not all transmasculine people do it- but it helps me pass when going to the bathroom and walking around.”</p>
<p>“Oh,” was all Tobio could muster as a response.</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Hinata explains, “my mom got me a specially designed one that can be used to pack, pee, and- uh play with.”</p>
<p>Tobio had seen those during his research and noticed Shouyou’s blush, “What do you mean play?” he asked innocently.</p>
<p>“Well uh-” Shouyou stuttered, “it uh m-means.”</p>
<p>He takes a deep breath, “It means I can use it to have sex too.”</p>
<p>“Oh,” Tobio said, secretly enjoying the display. </p>
<p>It’s not easy to hide emotions from Shouyou for him, but Shou being as open as ever is a treat.</p>
<p>“A-anything else?” Shou asked nervously.</p>
<p>Kageyama smiled at his expression, “Yeah, Shouyou, how come you don’t talk to me about sex like the other guys do?”<br/>A<br/>Hinata was trying hard not to look Tobio in the eye, “We-well I didn’t know you liked hearing about this stuff, and um, it’s not the most important thing to me so- I guess it never came up?”</p>
<p>Tobio can’t help himself at this point and busts out laughing, “God dumbass, I’m just messing with you! You don’t have to get so nervous.”</p>
<p>Shou, now completely mortified- nods his head, “Of course you were, I knew that Bakageyama.”</p>
<p>Tobio shakes his head, this is all he’ll ever have.</p>
<p>“Um,” Shouyou asks, “Kageyama?”</p>
<p>With the mask back up he answers, “What Hinata?”</p>
<p>“Can I…  Could I? -Will you let me?” the ginger asked unsurely.</p>
<p>Kageyama was done, “Either ask or don’t!”</p>
<p>Shouyou takes a breath smiling, “Can I touch your hair Tobio?”</p>
<p>Kageyama was embarrassed and confused, “I’m not saying no- but why?”</p>
<p>“Well- um, cause your hair always looks so nice and soft and I like styling and I was just wondering but you can say no.”</p>
<p>Kageyama rolls his eyes, “You can, but stop acting so weird, it’s not like I bite- idiot.”</p>
<p>Hinata pulls Kageyama toward his lap sitting in the beanbag, and leans his shoulders back against his own thighs.</p>
<p>Kageyama stiffens for a moment and then closes his eyes trying to relax, this is normal right? It’s not like he has many friends to compare this to. Hinata’s fingers start out tentative and gentle, unsure of their actions in Kageyama’s thick, silky hair. He starts lightly brushing them over the younger’s hair instead of through. Kageyama has chills run up his spine, he forgot how much he enjoyed having his hair touched. After becoming more sure of himself, Hinata pushes strands out of his way till each of his fingers is like the tooth of a comb, touching the scalp and hair of his friend. Kageyama doesn’t want to act weird since this is totally normal, right? So he shoves down the feelings of relaxation and the joy of being touched like this, by Hinata.</p>
<p>Hinata on the other hand is in awe, he knows Kageyama probably thinks this is normal enough for friends since he asked him about it relatively easily. But to see Kageyama, this angelic looking boy, completely and totally relax into him, and trust him- it gives Hinata very conflicting feelings. On the one hand, he feels terrible, knowing he’s betraying Kageyama’s trust as his best friend to have this selfish moment; on the other his growth is having a hard time not reacting to having the head of his crush so near, he knows he’s going to hell.</p>
<p>What was only around 5 minutes felt like an eternity to both boys, Hinata wasn’t exactly ready to stop- but he didn’t want things to be weirder. Both boys also felt like that was not enough time. Hinata pulls his hands back.</p>
<p>“Thanks, that always helps me calm down- sorry if it seemed weird,” Hinata said.</p>
<p>“Oh,” said Kageyama, “I just thought it was normal or something, but I’m glad I could help.”</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Hinata said, “you always help.”</p>
<p>“Well um,” Kageyama suddenly felt uncomfortable, “I guess I’ll see you in the morning?”</p>
<p>“Yeah,” Hinata agreed, eyes trailing after Kageyama’s retreating form.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you to everyone who has taken the time to read even a single chapter of this, it means the world to me. I just love these boys so much, and for anyone wondering I did get inspiration for this chapter from Mochimatcha's I'd love you if you'd let me &amp; other secrets, from the chapter 'Jealous' which I believe is chapter 7/13. It's great, plus it just had a sequel come out that's 10/10! Definitely recommend if you want better writing and angst than my own. Plus cis!HinataxKageyama action.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Crush?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Hinata and Kageyama finally start to talk things out at Kageyama's house <br/>Warning: smut about 2 virgins, one of which is a trans guy</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Wow, I wanted to be semi realistic of how they are and I have a habit of changing things on a whim, so I hope this is half as good as it feels like it should be. TBH I'm not sure if the sex is actually sexy, but considering them, it shouldn't entirely be anyway (IMO) because it's more about them finally being together and accepting each other.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>That afternoon they were at Kageyama’s house, “Tobio, do you have a crush yet?” Hinata asked curiously.</p><p>Kageyama, sitting next to the very subject, replies carefully, “No, why?”</p><p>Hinata smiles, “I just wanted to see if I could help you get a boyfriend, after all, I did ruin your first kiss.”</p><p>Shou is trying to ignore the pain in his chest from Tobio’s response.</p><p>Kageyama reluctantly admits, “You didn’t ruin it,” whilst looking down at his bedspread.</p><p>Hinata’s heart stutters, “I didn’t?!”</p><p>Kageyama growls, “That’s what I said dumbass! It could’ve been with an asshat like Oikawa, that would’ve ruined it.”</p><p>Hinata’s heart sinks again, “Oh, -right.”</p><p>Tobio looks up at the boy, confused by his sudden shift in mood, “Oi! Shouyou, what’s wrong?”</p><p>Shou blushed, “Uh, nothing- really. Definitely not disappointed about being only a level above Oikawa as a first kiss, nope.”</p><p>Tobio smiles inwardly, “I didn’t say that, dumbass. Anyway, why a boyfriend? You know anybody who wants the position?”</p><p>Hinata blushes, not realising that Kageyama is being sarcastic. </p><p>“Well- um,” Shou stutters nervously.</p><p>Kageyama is confused, “Wait you actually know someone who likes me?!”</p><p>Hinata nods, looking anywhere but at Kageyama.</p><p>Kageyama isn’t sure whether he should care or not, he only cares if it’s Hinata.</p><p>“Well, could I have a hint?” Kageyama asks.</p><p>Hinata hides his face in his hands, before admitting, “Well he’s shorter than you.”</p><p>Okay, so Hinata’s still a possibility, Kageyama becomes more interested, “Anything else?”</p><p>Hinata flushes behind his hands, “He’s in our grade…”</p><p>Kageyama is definitely liking the sound of that, “And...?”</p><p>Hinata huffs, hands flying off his face, “I thought you didn’t like anyone? Why do you care so much?!”</p><p>“About that…” Kageyama scratches his head, “I lied.”</p><p>“Why?!” Hinata demands.</p><p>“Because the guy I like deserves way better than me? And is amazing, and kind, and talented, and out of my league?” Kageyama answers.</p><p>Hinata’s very confused, but knows it’s not him, “And who would that be?”</p><p>Kageyama groans, “This is why I didn’t want to tell you!”<br/>Hinata waves his hands, “Fine, I won’t ask. But why not tell him you like him?”</p><p>Kageyama laughs, “Because I could and he still would have no clue.”</p><p>Hinata furrows his brows.</p><p>Kageyama stops his train of thought, “Who’s crushing on me though?!”</p><p>Hinata slumps, “Someone who annoys you and is way below your league, you’d probably have zero interest.”</p><p>Kageyama frowns, “Tsukishima? No, he’s taller than me…  Noya? No, he’s a grade above us…  Ugh! Why can’t you just tell me who it is?!”</p><p>Kageyama isn’t even actually interested anymore since it obviously can’t be Shou.</p><p>“If I tell you, you have to promise it changes nothing.” Shouyou says, deadly serious.</p><p>“Sure, fine,” Kageyama sounds bored.</p><p>Hinata takes a deep breath, grabbing Tobio’s hand, “You can’t freak out, but the person who has a crush on you…  is me.”</p><p>Kageyama can’t believe his ears, “Who?”</p><p>Hinata is blushing again, “I do! Me, Shouyou has a crush on you Tobio.”</p><p>Kageyama pulls his hand out of Shou’s, “This isn’t a game, don’t try to pull dumb shit like this.”</p><p>“What game?!” Hinata demands, “I’m the one that keeps getting turned down by you!”</p><p>“What are you talking about dumbass?!” Kageyama yells.</p><p>“I’ve been telling you for a while now, I kissed you for the dare, I tried to pretend it was nothing but slept beside you, I came out to you twice- and I’m stealth, I even got hard while I was playing with your hair!” Hinata ranted.</p><p>Kageyama’s eyes filled with tears, “Well how was I supposed to know?! You’re so damn perfect and likeable, and anytime I tried to give you a place to confess you denied! What else was I supposed to think?!”</p><p>“You gave me opportunities?” Hinata asked softly.</p><p>“When I came out to you as gay, when I asked what the kiss meant to you, when I cuddled you the whole fucking night after, when I told you I didn’t care if you were trans, although that one is more about being a decent person; when I channeled Nishinoya and asked you all those questions about sex, when I let you play with my hair and fought a boner the wholeass time!”</p><p>They sat in silence for a minute, and then Hinata started laughing.</p><p>And not just any laugh, this one was deep and had an edge of hysteria.</p><p>“Why are you laughing dumbass?!” Kageyama yelled, shaking Shou's shoulders.</p><p>Hinata held up a hand, indicating he needed a minute, when he wiped his tears away he started to explain, “*laugh* We didn’t confess *laugh* because we thought we’d make the other *laughing* uncomfortable! *more laughter* When the whole time, we liked each other!” at that point he fell onto his side from the powerful laughter.</p><p>Kageyama took a minute to process what he said, tears still present.</p><p>“So you’re telling me we went through all of that for nothing?!” Tobi held his hands against his pounding head.</p><p>Hinata who was now working on his breathing answered, “Guess not.”</p><p>They kinda just stared at each other for a minute, “So you like me?” Kageyama asked, and Hinata ducked while blushing but nodding yes.</p><p>“And you’re still attracted to me even though I’m trans?- cause not all gay guys like that even if I’m topping or ‘it’s’ not involved.” Hinata babbles.</p><p>Kageyama blushing this time, “Um yeah, it’s not a problem.”</p><p>“Are you sure Tobi? Cause I know some people think they’re open minded to it but they haven’t seen it, and then change their mind at the last minute.” Hinata persists.</p><p>Kageyama huffs, “God Shou, I like you for more than your body and I told you it’s a non issue.”</p><p>Hinata feels, like many trans people insecure, “How can you be so sure?”</p><p>Kageyama covers his face with his hands, “I watched porn with transguys in it after I found out, okay? I couldn’t stop watching it and imagining it was you.”</p><p>Hinata blushed bright red, “Oh…”</p><p>Kageyama was mortified, but relieved he no longer had to hide his feelings.</p><p>“Yeah, I kept seeing stuff about t growth while doing research and I was curious…  and horny.” Kageyama explained.</p><p>“It’s- okay, Tobi,” Hinata reassured, “you don’t have to tell me, I thought about you when I was doing that too.”</p><p>Tobio’s cock twitched, “You did?”</p><p>Hinata bit his lip mostly from embarrassment, “Yeah, I have a vibrator and when I was using my fingers.”</p><p>They both were feeling heady but they knew they needed to finish talking first, “So uh, how about not keeping things from each other from now on, no matter what?” Hinata asked.</p><p>Kageyama laughed, “The dumbass has a point for once.”</p><p>Hinata fake pouted, “You’re so mean Tobio, to think, I was gonna ask you to be my boyfriend!”</p><p>Kageyama choked on his own spit, “B-boyfriend?!”</p><p>Shou laughed, “Uh- yeah, since we like each other and are hot for each other?”</p><p>Tobio knew that made sense, “So do I have to ask?”</p><p>Hinata nods his head smugly.</p><p>“Okay,” Tobio takes a breath, “Will you, Hinata Shouyou, make me Kageyama Tobio the luckiest guy on earth and date me, so that together, we may have a scorable IQ?”</p><p>Hinata was trying not to laugh or cry, “Yes Tobi-chan! Yes!”</p><p>Finally the two kissed, and it was amazing, just like the first time- drunk infront of all their friends, but now they had no audience.</p><p>Tobi was pushed onto his back by Shou, the older boy straddling his groin heavily. He grunts into the kiss, feeling the friction against his sensitive dick. Shouyou quickly runs his hands from Tobio’s chest, up into his hair, grabbing on and tugging gently. Kageyama pulls Hinata into a flat lying position on top of himself, holding him there by locking his arms around the back of his neck.</p><p>In desperate need for friction, Tobio started carefully moving his hips, looking for anything he could to rut against. Shouyou, feeling quite the same with his growth, took pity and shifted his thigh against his boyfriend’s hard-on. Kageyama in turn reached for Hinata’s shirt and tugged at it, Hinata let it be pulled from his body, now just his binder and pants.</p><p>Kageyama pauses for a minute, “Is this okay? Do you want me to avoid your chest? Or keep your binder on?”</p><p>Hinata rubs his knee against Kageyama again, “Yes it’s okay, and today I’m comfortable with whatever.”</p><p>Kageyama nods as they start to kiss again, this time Hinata is tugging at the hem of his binder, during which Kageyama pulls off his own shirt. They only glance at each other’s bare chests for a moment before leaning back into one another to kiss once again. </p><p>Hinata, having left the rod for his pack and play at home, is hard and wet at the thought of being filled by Kageyama.</p><p>“Tobio, I want you inside me.” Hinata tells him.</p><p>Kageyama is more than happy to let him take the lead.</p><p>They both finish stripping, and due to Hinata’s birth control (IUD) they can go bareback. Hinata grinds his growth and wetness against Kageyama’s hard member, both of them short of breath. He then angles Kageyama’s dick so that he can lower himself onto it. Both groan at the feeling of the other, Kageyama overwhelmed by being enveloped, Hinata at being filled by the person he’s wanted for so long.</p><p>Hinata grinds himself down against Kageyama’s pelvis before rolling his hips in a forward motion. Kageyama grips onto Hinata hips for dear life, this was so much better than he had imagined. Hinata started to rub his t-dick while bouncing on Kageyama’s length, due to inexperience, it wasn’t the best or longest but both boys wouldn’t have changed a single thing as they climaxed together.</p><p>Hinata laid down beside Kageyama, “I love you, I have for a while.”</p><p>Kageyama kissed him again, “Me too, I love you too dumbass.”</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thank you for reading as always, the last chapter will be an epilogue of sorts, with both boys coming out to their team... hopefully it goes well ;)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Coming out</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Kageyama and Hinata have a good day together before coming out to the team (with a happy ending)</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Holy shit, this is the fastest I've ever written an entire 10000+ word fic. I'm sad this is the end but no worries, I will have more stories of the boys soon (I can't get enough of them). Tbh I know I'm not terrible at writing but I'm not great at it either- so thank you for always putting up with my unedited stories and still viewing and enjoying them, it means so much. Thank you mochimatcha for everything, I consider you a sort of friend now even though our conversations are usually just comments about how much we love each others stories and writing. Without you, this fic wouldn't have been nearly as good, long, or created so quickly.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The next day the new couple walked hand in hand to school, even kissing before they took their seats for first period.</p><p>Yachi had been curious then and tried to ask Hinata about it but he refused an answer, “You and the team will learn during practice.”</p><p>Now they were at lunch and sharing earbuds, listening to songs that reminded each other of the other. They also told each other stories about trying to hide their crush and things that made them wonder what their relationship was.</p><p>Right now they’re listening to The 7 Things I Hate About You by Miley Cyrus, though technically a break up song has a good representation of how Hinata feels for Kageyama…</p>
<p></p><div class="center">
  <p> <em> The 7 things I hate about you</em></p>
  <p>
    <em>You're vain, your games, you're insecure<br/>
You love me, you like her<br/>
You make me laugh, you make me cry<br/>
I don't know which side to buy</em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>Your friends they're jerks<br/>
When you act like them<br/>
Just know it hurts</em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>I wanna be with the one I know<br/>
And the 7th thing I hate the most that you do<br/>
You make me love you</em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>And compared to all the great things<br/>
That would take too long to write<br/>
I probably should mention<br/>
The 7 that I like</em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>The 7 things I like about you</em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>Your hair, your eyes, your old Levi's<br/>
When we kiss, I'm hypnotized<br/>
You make me laugh, you make me cry<br/>
But I guess that's both I'll have to buy</em>
  </p>
  <p>
    <em>Your hand in mine<br/>
When we're intertwined<br/>
Everything's alright</em>
  </p>
  <p><em>I want to be with the one I know<br/>
And the 7th thing I like the most that you do<br/>
You make me love you<br/>
You do </em> </p>
</div>Kageyama had to admit he wasn’t the easiest person to love, especially since he has such a hard time expressing himself. He had so many songs that reminded him of Hinata, the one coming up was All of Me by John Legend.<div class="center">
  <p> <em> ‘Cause all of me<br/>
Loves all of you<br/>
All your curves and all your edges<br/>
All your perfect imperfections </em> </p>
</div>Hinata was crying into Kageyama’s shoulder, he was starting to be able to understand just how deeply Kageyama felt for him- the same as Hinata. He understood it to a degree before, considering all of their closeness and understanding each other- but Kageyama gets to eloquently express himself to his boyfriend through music, without worrying if he’ll be able to force himself to say everything.<p>Shouyou and Tobio knew they weren’t perfect- but they made each other a thousand times better, and they loved each other. It was enough.</p><p>Hinata laughed, “I started to wonder for the first time if you liked me when you stuttered from giving you a simple compliment, I kinda hoped you did but I was too scared to ask.”</p><p>Kageyama smiled at the memory, “It’s harder to tell when you like someone since you’re so damn nice and touchy feely with everyone,” he pouts.</p><p>Shouyou licked his lips, looking at Tobio’s pout- it was cute, adorable really. He wanted to kiss his boyfriend senseless in that moment, so he leaned up and told him… </p><p>“If you keep making that face,” Hinata whispered in his ear, “I’m going to kiss every inch of exposed skin on you right here where anyone can see.”</p><p>Tobi flushed, “What the hell Shou!?”</p><p>Shouyou skipping the answering him thing, started to trial kisses down and around Tobi’s neck.</p><p>Tobio forced himself to be gentle despite his embarrassment, and pulled Shou back just to have his lips attacked by the other boy.</p><p>When they pulled apart Tobio commented, “What happened to waiting for practice?”</p><p>Shou laughed, “I can’t help the fact my boyfriend is irresistible.”</p><p>Kageyama groaned in embarrassment, not acknowledging how much he secretly loved how open Shou was about PDA and wanting to claim him.<br/>
Both boys were distracted during their last two classes, really wanting to get to practice and also wondering how their teammates would take their news.</p><p>When they got to the club room they tried to go change but Kiyoko and Yachi caught them first, both wearing huge smiles.</p><p>“So,” Kiyoko asks, “is it true? Yachi told me she saw you two boys kiss before 1st period.”</p><p>They both nodded and Tobio explained, “We actually are planning to tell the whole team so wait a few minutes.”</p><p>The girls looked at each other with a smirk but agreed.</p><p>Changing was actually more awkward than normal, because both Hinata and Kageyama were openly staring at each other instead of sneaking glances like they used to. Controlling their arousal was no small feat either, but after helping each other stretch they made their way onto the court.</p><p>All the guys were out and Daichi was saying something about practicing weak points today; that’s when the couple noticed Kiyoko whispering to Daichi and caught the word ‘announcement’. Oh boy, this would be fun.</p><p>At the end of his normal instructions Daichi would send the team off, this time however, they ended with, “I’ve been informed that Kageyama and Hinata have something they want to share with us.”</p><p>Both boys gulped, walking up to stand infront of their teammates.</p><p>They received smiles from the team at their hesitance, Kageyama started, “So I know I’m not the most social of our players, and I’m shit at explaining my emotions.”</p><p>Tsukki said, “You got that right.”</p><p>Kageyama paused to glare, “But, you guys are family- and I wanted to tell you”</p><p>He takes a deep breath, “I’m gay.”</p><p>He waits, eyes closed.</p><p>Silence.</p><p>That’s all he hears and then, “Is that all?”</p><p>Hinata steps forward, “Actually there’s more, I’m trans and we’re dating.”</p><p>This gets more of a reaction, some blinking eyes and Noya and Tanaka fighting.</p><p>“I told you!” Noya shouted.</p><p>Tanaka sighs, “You were right about them. But I guessed the other part!”</p><p>Hinata blinks, “Did you guys bet on us dating and my being trans?!”</p><p>Both grin sheepishly, “We could kinda tell, and it’s cool- I’m happy for y’all. But this idiot wouldn’t believe me,” Noya explains, jerking a thumb toward Tanaka.</p><p>Tanaka scratches his neck, “I didn’t want to out you or anything- I just had a friend growing up that transitioned and you reminded me of them a lot. I’m sorry man, that wasn’t cool.”</p><p>Other than that the team seemed fine with them, happy for them but not much else.</p><p>They were relieved. They actually ended up finding out they weren’t the only queer people on the team, in fact most of them were dating each other.</p><p>The biggest surprise was the coaches. Ukai cleared up any possible confusion by pulling their teacher advisor Takeda into a quick but heated kiss.</p><p>Takeda was flustered by the public display but clutched Ukai’s hand tightly nonetheless.</p><p>All Shouyou and Tobio cared about was that they were happy, and their family was happy for them.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Thanks for reading as always, until next time...</p>
        </blockquote><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>If you read my ramblings in the tags and the first set of notes and still are willing to read these- thank you. I love you, you are my favorite reader (don't tell the others) ^v^, but on a serious note- thank each and everyone of you for reading this and if you like my mediocre writing you'll Love mochimatcha's who inspired this fic with I'd love you if you'd let me &amp; other secrets (wow I memorized the name). Go give this human all the love because he deserves it. If you liked leave a kudo or a comment please and thank you. See y'all soon for chapter 2</p></blockquote></div></div>
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